Sunday, January 8, 2017

I am still here

A friend of mine just started a blog and it made me think of my blog and how much I missed it.
I just wanted to stop in and visit my blog and see how everyone is. Has it really been 2 years?

Where do I begin........Well I wake up everyday and do not recognize my life anymore

Brian is gone almost 4 years now, but in my heart it feels like yesterday

Maggie has been gone 9 months now and I miss her so much, she was my rock after losing Brian

My heart aches for them both and I miss our life, our love and our dreams for the future

I sold the house, was too much for me financially, don't know what I was thinking there. My advice to others after the death of a spouse is to not make any major decisions in the first year. You are on auto pilot and probably not thinking clearly.
 Having a home was our dream and on my own it was too much.

I am in college, yes college. I had to do something to take care of myself.
Having a ten year gap on your resume is not good for job hunting. I can not live earning minimum wage

I moved to Gravenhurst and I am in my second year of college, taking the Social Service Work Course

I figured if anyone could inspire people to recover from loss, I could, seeing how I have picked up the pieces a number of times and had to rebuild my life many times.

I don't have any time to create right now, that makes me sad, because I miss my projects. I miss collecting and painting
I guess you could say I am working on the biggest project of my life and that is recreating me.

I hope everyone is doing ok and that you have not had to endure the pain and loss that I have experienced these last 4 years.

Currently I am living in a mobile home while I go to college. (mobile home living in northern Ontario will definitely be something to write a post about, but that will be another day.)

Here is home for now

It was spring when I moved in and the area was gorgeous

Not so pretty now, my first winter here, I feel like I am being initiated to northern ontario
50 centimetres of snow in 24 hours this week

I am back to school tomorrow after Christmas break
will fill you in more soon